The Interface

'The most interesting things tend to happen at the interface, between two elements, two surfaces, two forces, two states of being, two people...'

- Josh Ng (ca. high school)

Another Year

On the bus ride back now, and in the past few days since the last ride the earth has exploded into a lush new green. A year has passed again since the last. The same pounds were gained and lost. The same allergy medication put away and taken out again. The same clothes packed away and dug out from under the bed one more time. I tell myself that this year will be different, not really knowing what that might mean.

I do know that I am tired of and bored with my same thoughts, same awkward teenage feelings, same habits that refuse to commit to a purpose or religion, and same default reasoning to look out for miss number one. I’m tired of looking for a happiness conditional on so much perfection, tired of looking at my life like a Disney movie gone wrong. But what to replace these things with? So far, all I have to go on is to be better: kinder, more patient, more giving, more forgiving, more graceful. I write it here so that someone out there could hold me accountable for these things, so to not repeat the same year again.

Fortune Cookie

I'm sure the following can be found in the form of a fortune cookie somewhere in the world:

A doctor once told me that patients arrive at the hospital in a terrible situation: with an unknown diagnosis, and not getting better. And the goal of a doctor is to bring them out of that lower right corner of the punnett square: to either find out the diagnosis, or get them better, or preferably both.

It seems that the goal in life in general is the same: to either find out what you want, or be happy with what you have, but just avoid the lower right corner.

Ode to Joy

There are those of us who are content to allow our lives carry us in whichever direction, and we find joy in the places life takes us.

There are others who think long and hard about what it is we want and find joy in obtaining it at last after beating the odds.

Then there are those of us who can’t decide which of the two we are; and thus we let life carry us, and think long and hard about where its taken us, only to find that we can’t decide whether or not its given us joy at all, but for the sake of coming to some conclusion, convince ourselves that we can only find joy in what we have left behind or have not yet been taken.

Matter

I've heard that many things matter and many things don't. But I can't recall which was which...

the present, 10 years down the road
the big picture, the little things
that which is in front of you, that which is hidden beneath
one's word, one's actions
that which is right, that which feels right
the outcome, the intention
dignity, kindness
things that happen every day, things that don't happen every day
one's happiness, the happiness of others
that which is certain, that which you believe

Life's prix-fix menu...any recommendations?

Minds

Girl: What's on your mind love?

Boy: I saw this commercial today where someone in a spacesuit was using a cell phone to call home from outer space, and it made me wonder how the process of using a cell phone would work in outer space. Like would it be just like it is on earth? Or would there even be sound when the guy talks? Cuz doesn't that require air molecules and what-not? And if so, how would you even hear it when it rings in outer space? And then what about the structure of the cell phone itself? Like would some parts be messed up from the absence of gravity? And then there's the whole thing with signal. Would it be totally awesome all the time or what? But then you'd think that by the time we get to the point of even considering calling from outer space on cell phones we'd all be tele-porting anyways and wouldn't need silly black boxes we have to hold up to our ears to talk.
...
So what's on your mind?

Girl: You.

- Anonymous Contributer

Loneliness

A friend once told me 'there will always be some part of ourselves that will be alone.' (not too different from what my mother always told me). It gave me such relief to hear that - after so many years of searching for companionship for all the parts of me, realizing that actually alone is the natural state of some things. In fact, there may even be an alone quota that must be filled. Alone may be the notes of silence that separate the notes of music, without which music may never exist. Alone is golden.

The onion

The onion: a quite overly used metaphor to describe an individual. There is the outer layer of toughish skin. There is a deeper layer beneath we show a smaller audience. There is another beneath reserved for special occasions (such as a blog entry). Then another even lower that we hide from the blog. Finally, there is a layer that we hide from even ourselves.

It's funny these layers...the secrets they keep from each other, the judgments they make of each other, and the anger they have towards one another. But without such inter-layer conflicts, I suppose there wouldn't be layers at all, and we'd be, God forbid - shallow.

The sign

There is Fresca at the Fenway Shaw's once more! The economy must be on the rise...Rejoice!

Dance:

Yes, it is true. Sometimes there are more important things than dance.

For a while I believed that there couldn't be - what could take greater priority than that pure breath of my soul - but alas, I am finally ready to hold that breath for something even greater.